


Dynamite With A Laser Beam, Guaranteed To Blow Your Mind

by Sugakane_01



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Sebastian Smythe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-03
Updated: 2011-12-03
Packaged: 2017-10-26 20:01:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/287295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sugakane_01/pseuds/Sugakane_01
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt's a college student and aspiring actor living in New York while attending college. He's also a high end escort and Noah Puckerman is his best client. What happens when things become much more than just business to one of them? Puck/Kurt slash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dynamite With A Laser Beam, Guaranteed To Blow Your Mind

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a drabble and kind of grew into a one shot. It's Kurt/Puck and it's escort!Kurt, client!Puck and its not strictly PWP...there's enough of a plot here that I may come back to it and expand it one day. It was SUPPOSED to be PWP but then the boys went and got feelings and wanted to talk and...yeah. Title taken from Queen's song "Killer Queen" and feedback is love so drop a review and let me know what you thought and if I should expand the 'verse.

**Dynamite with a Laser Beam, Guaranteed To Blow Your Mind**

Kurt was sitting on his couch going over the script for his next audition when his cell phone went off, and the unmistakable voice of Freddy Mercury singing “Killer Queen” broke the silence.  He let out a frustrated sigh.  Jesse knew he didn’t take jobs before auditions.  In the year and a half he’d been with working for Jesse St. James’ elite “modeling agency” Jesse had respected the parameters that they’d established when Kurt had signed on so the fact that Jesse was calling him in-at the last minute at that-when he knew he had a call back was enough to pique Kurt’s curiosity.  He sat the script down on the coffee table before picking up the phone and checking the message. 

_7:00 p.m, The Surrey, penthouse suite, you were requested.  Say yes, I’ll owe you._

Kurt raised one eyebrow.  The idea of Jesse being indebted to him was appealing and a penthouse suite at The Surrey did not come cheap.  Kurt did some mental mathematics and realized that if he took the job at his usual fee he’d have saved enough to pay for his classes himself next semester, minimizing the burden on his father and stepmother.  Having two sons in college did not come cheap and while business was good at the garage, it was a tight squeeze and the economy in Lima was slowing.  Every little bit helped.

When, after his freshmen year at Tisch, his father had sat him down explained to him the reality of their financial situation, asking if Kurt had given any thought of moving back to Ohio and perhaps attending an in-state school to lighten the load Kurt had panicked.  He didn’t want to be selfish, but he was living his dream and was willing to do anything to keep it.  Ohio was, for Kurt, his own personal Hell and New York his heaven.  After watching him mope for about a week after his return, his roommate, Sebastian, a fellow theater major and Ohio boy had taken him aside, given Kurt a business card and told him to call Jesse.

Three days, two lunches, six phone calls and four panic attacks later, Kurt found himself gainfully employed in the sex industry.  Despite his early misgivings Kurt found that Sebastian had been mostly right and that as long as he could compartmentalize, being an escort was a relatively easy gig, especially with Jesse as the man behind the curtain.  Being employed by The St. James Modeling Agency was flexible, lucrative and far safer than if he were randomly hooking up at clubs throughout the city or dragging in clients from off the street.  Jesse ran a tight ship and his escorts were the crème of the crop.  They ran the gamut from bored celebutantes to college kids like Kurt but they were all beautiful, well mannered and fit in with the upper echelons of society where the majority of Jesse’s clients came from.  Jesse was also meticulous about the sexual health of his escorts and his clients.  Kurt wasn’t sure there was another escort service that required regular health screening of not only its employees, but its clients as well.

Kurt checked the time and realized he had a little less than two hours to get himself ready and get across town.  He texted Jesse his confirmation and then Kurt pushed himself up from the sofa, making his way into the bathroom to start his shower.

Kurt gave a polite smile to the attendant in the elevator, brushed an imaginary piece of lint of his Thierry Mugler three piece suit and took a deep breath.  He checked his watch to make sure he was on time-not early, not late but _on time_ -and began slipping on the mask he wore whenever he went to “work” for Jesse.

When the elevator doors slid open Kurt gave the attendant a quick nod goodbye and walked down the hallway, trying to calm the butterflies in his stomach.  No matter how many times he’d done this, not knowing who or what was on the other side of the door always made him a little apprehensive.  Kurt trusted Jesse not to send him into the belly of the beast but still…things happen and Kurt had never had the best of luck so it was prudent to be cautious.  When he reached the door to room 9114 he shook out his shoulders and plastered a sultry look on his face and knocked.  After a moment the door cracked open and Noah Puckerman opened the door.

Instantly Kurt dropped “sultry look no. 4” and a genuine smile curved his lips. Noah was one of Kurt’s favorite clients.  He was charming and intelligent, never talked down to Kurt or degraded him.  Even though he was wealthy, Noah was self made man so he lacked the conceit and sense of self importance that some of his other clients had.  Noah was refreshingly real and Kurt always enjoyed his company.

It also didn’t hurt that Noah was absolutely gorgeous, always paid Kurt twice his regular fee and booked him for the whole night.

Noah returned Kurt’s smile and stepped back so that he could enter the room.  Once Kurt crossed the threshold, Noah turned him around and kissed him softly on the lips, trailing his hands lightly up Kurt’s sides before settling on his hips and pulling him close.  “It’s been awhile, Noah.”  Kurt murmured into his neck.

“I was in Singapore.  I thought about you,” Noah answered, his breath tickling the shell of Kurt’s ear.

“Aw, next you’ll be saying you missed me,” Kurt teased.

“Would you believe me if I said I did?” Noah asked quietly.

Kurt didn’t answer, instead he stepped out of Noah’s embrace and crossed the room to sit on the sofa, shrugging off his jacket and loosening his tie as he went.  Noah slowly followed after him, stopping at the bar on the way to pour them both a glass of champagne.

Kurt wasn’t sure what it was but there was a different energy to this meeting with Noah.  Normally, Kurt would enter the room and Noah would have him stripped and on his back in record time then, after they’d gotten round one out of the way they’d have dinner, talk for a bit and proceed on to rounds two, three and sometimes four or five depending on what Noah wanted. 

This was…decidedly different.  Kurt didn’t feel unsafe, just unbalanced.  Noah was looking at him as intently as he ever did, but the lust that was usually in his eyes had been replaced by something else that Kurt couldn’t quite place.

“Is business going well?”  Kurt asked, trying to get them on track.  Giving Noah the freedom to vent his frustrations was part of the package.  It was Kurt’s job to make Noah feel good, to take care of him not just in bed, but out of it.  Knowing how to listen, being good at it, was even more important than being good in bed.  With other customers they would talk, and Kurt nod at the appropriate times, be outraged on their behalf when it was required, rub their shoulders and massage their scalp while assuring they were genius’ surrounded by idiots.  Kurt was better at stroking egos than he was at stroking cocks.

With Noah though, things were a bit different.  Noah didn’t appreciate being humored and when he asked Kurt a question he wanted a legitimate answer.  Kurt and Noah disagreed, debated and discussed.  When Kurt asked about Noah’s business or his life it was with genuine interest.  Noah returned the favor, and over the year they’d spent together Kurt had opened up to Noah in ways he didn’t dare with his other clients. 

Normally, Kurt enjoyed getting the details of what was going on in Noah’s life, tonight however, bringing up Noah’s business was a desperation move meant to quiet his nerves and inject some normalcy into the appointment.

Noah quirked an eyebrow and absently trailed his fingers along Kurt’s thigh.  “Business is good.  I’m actually about to open negotiations towards a valuable new acquisition.”

“Sounds intriguing, Noah.  Are we friendly or hostile this time around?”  Kurt asked, draining his glass and setting it down on the table.

“Friendly,” Noah breathed, deftly removing Kurt’s tie and undoing three buttons on Kurt’s shirt before mouthing his neck.  “Very, very friendly.”

Kurt opened his mouth to reply and thought better of it.  He opted instead to toe off his shoes and socks, and unbutton his shirt the rest of the way.  He let the expensive fabric slip off his shoulders and slide onto the cushion beside him.

Noah leaned back against the couch watching Kurt with hungry eyes.  “Don’t tease me, Kurt.  Take it off.”

The tone of Noah’s voice never failed to make Kurt shiver with anticipation.  He looked at Noah from under his lashes as he undid his pants, slowly sliding them and his boxer briefs down his hips until they fell in a puddle around his feet. 

“Come baby,” Noah said unconsciously licking his lips as he beckoned Kurt closer.  Kurt moved over the couch and straddled Noah’s lap, brushing his lips over the spot just under Noah’s ear.

Noah moaned low in his throat and began to trail his fingers along Kurt’s spine and then over his hip bones, digging in slightly because he knew they were sensitive.  Kurt arched up against him and Noah leaned forward and swiped his tongue across one of Kurt’s nipples.  When Kurt opened his mouth to moan, Noah traced Kurt’s full bottom lip with the pad of his thumb.

There was nothing staged about the way Kurt’s pupils dilated in desire or the goose bumps that erupted over his skin.  He tongue darted out and gently licked Noah’s thumb.  His fingers shook ever so slightly as he undid the buttons on Noah’s shirt and tugged it off, running his hands over the muscled planes of Noah’s chest and torso.

Noah took one of Kurt’s hands and guided them to the bulge in his slacks.  Kurt took the hint and made quick work of undoing Noah’s belt and pants, eliciting a hiss of pleasure from the bigger man as his hardened cock sprang free.

Kurt slid to his knees and spread Noah’s thighs.  He raked his nails over the delicate skin of Noah’s inner thigh before dipping his head forward, parting his lips and licking a long stripe from the base of Noah’s cock up to the head.  He dropped a single kiss on the swollen head. 

Kurt took one hand and gently began to fondle Noah’s balls while swallowing down the length of his cock.  He ran his tongue across the slit and along the vein on the underside of his cock as Noah moaned and leaned back into the cushions, trying to keep his hips from jerking.  “Just like that, baby.  Damn I love your mouth,” Noah moaned.

Kurt hollowed his cheeks and bobbed, taking more and more of Noah’s erection into his mouth until every inch disappeared into the warm, wet cavern of his mouth and he began to deep throat him.  Noah’s fingers threaded through Kurt’s hair and then gripped the silken strands, pulling hard as he began move his hips, thrusting in and out of Kurt’s mouth.

Kurt relaxed his throat and the two fell into a steady rhythm.  Noah pumped into Kurt’s mouth and when he withdrew Kurt would suck him down hard as if he were trying to keep him there.  Kurt dug his fingers into Noah’s hips as he moaned and then began to hum around Noah’s cock.

Noah looked down at Kurt just as Kurt was peering up at him.  Their eyes met and the air around them crackled with electricity.  Noah’s grip on Kurt’s hair became like steel and he pounded into Kurt’s mouth.  Kurt held his mouth open wide and kept his throat open, licking lightly at Noah’s cock but mostly just moaned out his approval as Noah forced his cock ruthlessly into his mouth and down his throat.

Kurt had every intention of sucking Noah to completion, but Noah apparently had other plans.  He slowed, then stopped his thrusts and carefully pulled Kurt up and off his cock.  “Bed, I want you on the bed,” Noah explained when Kurt whined in protest.

Kurt rose gracefully and made his way into the bedroom.  He got onto the bed, scooting back against the pillows, watching Noah with curious, lust filled eyes as the other man entered the room, carrying the bottle of champagne and two glasses.

At Kurt’s raised eyebrow, Noah shrugged, placing the items on the bedside table and murmured, “It’s for later.”

Kurt promptly forgot about the champagne and nearly forgot how to breathe when Noah stood and slipped out of his pants and briefs and draped his body over Kurt’s.

Kurt felt like he was slipping into a melting pot of warm honey as Noah kissed him, sucking on his tongue and biting his lower lip, Kurt sunk further and further into the sensation.  Kurt lightly dragged his fingernails down Noah’s back and curled a leg up and around his hip, forcing their groins into contact.

Noah groaned, and suddenly flipped them over so that Kurt was straddling him.  At Kurt’s questioning glance he reached over onto the table and got the bottle of lube, handing it to Kurt.

“I want to watch you get yourself ready for me,” Noah demanded, scooting up towards the pillows and resting his back against them.

Kurt slicked liberally coated his hand with the lube and then reached around and began to run a finger along his puckered entrance.  He played around the edge for a bit, drawing out the sensation before slipping a finger inside the tight ring of muscle.  Noah was fully settled back against the pillows, fisting his cock and watching with interest.  Kurt moaned at the sight and worked himself open, sliding a second and then a third finger in.  The angle was awkward and he couldn’t quite reach his sweet spot, but as he worked his fingers in and out, stretching and preparing himself to take Noah’s cock.

After just a few short minutes Noah opened a small foil packet and rolled on a condom, never breaking eye contact with Kurt, watching him with dark, possessive eyes.  He put both hands on Kurt’s hips and licked a stripe up his neck, before putting his lips to the shell of his ear and whispering, “You ready, ready?” in such a low, debauched tone that Kurt couldn’t have said no if his life depended on it.

Noah gently tugged him forward, into position over his cock.  Kurt slowly slid down, until he had fully seated himself on Noah’s cock and drew in a deep, shuddering breath as he adjusted to the fullness.  After a few moments, Kurt rocked his hips back and forth, dragging a ragged moan from Noah.

Kurt leaned his body forward, stealing a kiss before starting to move his hips up and down, with Noah thrusting up in time with his downward movements.  They kept in a smooth, even rhythm until Noah suddenly tightened his grip on Kurt’s hips hard enough to bruise and began controlling the pace, urging him to move faster and take him deeper.  Kurt gasped trying to catch his breath as Noah fucked into him.  His fingers tightened on Noah’s shoulders, leaving his own bruises.  Noah’s long, cool fingers wrapped around Kurt’s cock and began pumping Kurt in time to his thrusts.  Kurt knew he was close and from the stuttering, jerking movements of his hips he knew Noah was too and bucked and rolled with abandon, trying to get them both over the edge.  Noah began to suck and bite-hard-at the pale column of his neck.  Kurt usually didn’t allow his clients to leave marks but Noah was the exception to every rule he had.  Instead of jerking away, he simply tilted his head back to allow Noah better access.

“You want me to claim you, Kurt?  Mark you up so everyone can see and know that you’re taken, that you’re mine?”  Noah growled into Kurt’s ear, before sucking another bruise onto his neck.  Kurt mewled and writhed on Noah’s lap as he tried to answer but his brain was too foggy and his body too strung out for him to form words so he settled for a shaky jerking of his head that resembled a nod.  “Come for me, baby,” Noah breathed into Kurt’s ear and Kurt felt as if he were breaking apart as pleasure washed over him and he came hard.  Noah growled, “That’s right, baby.  You come for me.  You belong to me. You’re mine, Kurt.  Just mine,” before biting down sharply on his shoulder and having his own climax, refusing to loosen his grip or stop his thrusting until he’d milked them both through the aftershocks of their orgasms.

* * *

Kurt woke up slowly, his body loose, languid and ridiculously relaxed firmly plastered to Noah’s side and encased in a mountain of blankets.  Noah was gently carding a hand through his brunette tresses and trailing lazy kisses along his jaw.  Kurt found himself wishing, and not for the first time, that he was waking up in Noah’s arms under completely different circumstances.

“Hey you,” he smiled lazily, stretching slightly and trying to pull himself out of Noah’s embrace.

“Hey yourself,” Noah returned, his fingers tracing the bite mark he’d left in Kurt’s shoulder.

“So, you’ve got me for the rest of the night, Mr. Puckerman.  What are you going to do with me?”  Kurt flirted, running his hands over Noah’s chest.

“We’re going to talk,” Noah said all traces of teasing removed his tone.

Kurt pulled away warily.  He’d only heard that particular tone in Noah’s voice twice-once when he’d been fighting with his ex-wife, Quinn over custody of their daughter Beth and once when a rival company came in at the eleventh hour and tried to steal a bid from him.

Both times Noah had been ruthlessly efficient and brutally effective in getting exactly what he wanted.

“Do you remember those negations I was telling you about earlier?”

Kurt nodded, and sat up, looking at Noah expectantly.

“I want you.  I’m pretty sure you want me too.  So, my proposal is that you retire, and let take care of you.”

Kurt froze, and then frowned.  “No,” he said slowly, “no, no, no, no, no.  That’s what this is, that’s how not this works,” he said, his voice steadily rising in pitch and volume and he attempted to scramble up off the bed.

Noah’s hand clamped down over Kurt’s wrist like an iron bar.  “Kurt-“

“No, Noah,” Kurt said, trying to yank free.  “You think you’re the first guy who wanted me to go from being Jesse’s whore to being his?  No.  No, no, no.  It’s a bad idea a-and you’re not supposed to pull this shit on me.  Not you-“

“What does that even mean?” Noah interrupted hotly.

“You’re supposed to be safe!” Kurt blurted out.  “Ok fine, maybe I fantasize that this thing between us could be more than a business deal but I’m not stupid.  I know it’s not and I’m ok with that-“

“It is and I’m not,” Noah broke in softly.

“I just figured you’d be the one person that I could be all of myself with,” Kurt continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted, “I have to keep pieces of myself, to myself, with everyone else.  My clients don’t care about me.  They want the rent boy that says just what they need to hear and makes them feel better about their lives.  They could give a fuck about mine.  They don’t want to hear about my Broadway aspirations or that I wore a corset and a kilt to school-not together mind you-in high school.  My friends and family who do want to hear about my dreams and talk about how my day went can’t ever find out about this aspect of my life.  You were the one person where I could just…be me.  No lies, no performance, just Kurt and –“

“You don’t think it’s exactly the same way for me?” Noah asked.  “Kurt, you are the only person I’ve met in a very long time that doesn’t lie to me.  You don’t kiss my ass because I’m Noah Puckerman.  In the year that I’ve known you, you’ve seen more of the real me than my ex wife did in the six years we were together.  I can be, I have been, vulnerable with you.  I’ve told you things I’ve never told another living soul, you think Quinn knew about my old man knocking my ma and me around?  She didn’t.  You think my ma knows I thank God that bastard took off before he found a way to kill us all?  Hell no, she doesn’t.  There’s not a soul on this planet that knows my good, bad and ugly like you do Kurt.”

“I’m a whore, Noah,” Kurt said flatly, “its part of the job to get to know you.”

“Was it part of the job to help me find the perfect birthday present for Beth or argue with me for three straight hours about religion or drag me out to that little hole in the wall karaoke bar and let me hang you and your friends?” 

“Noah-“

“How many of your clients have you taken around your friends, Kurt?”

“Noah-“

“How many of them know about your obsession with Patti LuPone or fixation on seriously weird brooches or that you rock the fuck out of Hey Ya on Just Dance?”

“I am pretty good, aren’t I?”  Kurt grinned.

“You’re the best Kurt,” Noah said, not at all talking about the game.

“This never works Noah,” Kurt said sadly.  “You think you’re gonna save me because you’re different and you really care about me and the first time we have an argument you’ll call me a whore.”

“Have a little faith in me, Kurt.”

“Noah you have no idea what you’re asking me.  I know you think you can see past what I do but there’s no way you’ll ever look at me and see me as anything but-“

“Did I ever tell you about my first business?” Noah interrupted, taking Kurt’s hand and intertwining their fingers.  “I was sixteen with a pos ford and no spending money.  I pool cleaning was as good a job as any.”

Kurt laughed.  “You were a pool boy?”

“I was,” Noah confirmed.  “I did more than clean the pools though.  The first time I ever got paid to uh, ‘service’ the lady of the house it was because my dad was on a bender and my ma didn’t have the cash for groceries.  I cleaned the pool, banged Mrs. Schuester and got a hundred dollar ‘tip” for a job well done.”

Kurt’s mouth dropped open.  “You…you-“

“I’ve been where you are.  I’m not gonna lie it wasn’t awful and I didn’t hate it, but I did hate how it made people look at me.  I hated how people assumed that what I did was all there was to me.  I hated how lonely it made me.  Quinn, she knows.  She always said she could look past it but whenever we fought it was the first thing she threw at me.  So believe me when I tell you Kurt, I know that hurts and I’d never do that to you.”

Kurt closed his eyes.  He had always known that Noah treated him differently, seemed to understand him better than his other clients and now he could truly understand why.  He knew the reason Noah had never, despite the money that changed hands, looked down on him was because he’d been in exactly Kurt’s position. 

“Why?”  Kurt asked, trying to control his nerves and keep his voice steady.

“Why what?”

“Why me?”  Kurt whispered.

“Because I like who I am when I’m with you and I think you like who you are when you’re with me and I think that we should explore where that leads us.”  Noah said, lightly running his fingers over Kurt’s jaw.

“I can’t just...what would I tell Jesse and how would I support myself and oh good grief, why am I considering this?”

“You’re considering this,” Noah said, kissing Kurt’s fingertips, “Because you want to.  You’d tell Jesse you got a better offer and you’d work for one my companies, if you wanted to.  Though working for me might prove difficult since I have it on good authority that you’ve applied to The Nederlander Producing Company of America for one of their internship positions.”

“Please don’t,” Kurt said softly.  “I want that job so badly but don’t pull any strings and don’t-“

“I don’t need to.  I would have,” Noah said without a hint of shame, “I was going to, but they’d already made their decision.  You should be getting a call today or tomorrow letting you know the jobs yours if you want it.”

“I…I got it?  And you didn’t pull any strings?  I really got it on my own?”

“You did,” Noah confirmed.  “Are you out of excuses yet, Kurt?”

“I-" Kurt’s throat closed up.  He had no reason to say no and every reason to say yes but he was still worried.  “I’m not your damsel in distress.”

“Hell no,” Noah agreed, “You’re my knight in shining armor.  You saved me, Kurt.  I was fucking miserable until I met you.  You’ve been the only part of my life, besides Beth, that’s brought me any real joy this past year.  If I hadn’t had you I honestly don’t think I’d have gotten through it.”

“Oh,” Kurt said.  “In that case, I …I think we should try this.  Strictly on a trial basis mind you.”

Noah drew Kurt to him and shifted them around so that Kurt was sprawled across his chest.  “What are your terms, Mr. Hummel?”

Kurt smiled up at Noah.  “You don’t hide me.  If you want me to be your boyfriend or…whatever, I won’t be kept secret.  We’re exclusive.  I’m selfish and I was an only child until I was seventeen so I never learned to share well.  You don’t own me.  I keep my apartment-and that’s not negotiable,’ Kurt added quickly when Noah went to protest, “and…I get to meet Beth.”  He added softly. 

The last request was a gamble.  Kurt knew how protective Noah was of his daughter but he also knew that if Noah weren’t serious about Kurt he’d deny the request flat out but if he agreed…

If he agreed it could change everything.

Noah was silent for a few moments and then he spoke.  “I have no intentions of hiding you.  I’m proud to be seen with you, Kurt.  I also have no intentions of sharing you,” he said fingering the fading bite mark on Kurt’s shoulder again, “so I’m fine with being exclusive.  You can keep your apartment BUT when the lease is up we negotiate you moving in with me.  As far as Beth…you can meet her…if I get to meet your family.”

Kurt could feel Noah’s heart pounding in his chest, belying the other man’s outward projection of calm, cool and collected.  Somehow, Kurt knowing that Noah was just as nervous as he was and just as willing to take a chance settled Kurt’s nerves and helped him make his decision.

“Deal,” Kurt said, kissing Noah lightly.  “Do we pour a glass of champagne now and celebrate or shake hands-“

Noah suddenly rolled Kurt over so that he was under him.  “I have a much more pleasant way to celebrate in mind,” he said silkily, before fusing their lips together in a kiss.


End file.
